Sixteen Candles (A Birthday in Heaven)

  As I sit here writing this I cannot tell you how heavy my heart is. Words can't really describe how I am feeling, this is the best I can do, It feels like a thousand pound brick weighing me down . But it's normal for this time of year. The month of May has many wonderful things this year. Please don't get me wrong. Joshua is getting married, I get another sister! That is wonderful, it really is!

  But also the month of May brings a large amount of  tears. This month we have a very special Birthday for a very special boy. Jacob's 16th Birthday is next Friday. It never gets easier with Birthdays. They are a hard reminder that, again we will not be celebrating with him here on earth. May 20th, 2014 was the last Birthday we would celebrate with him for a very long time. Extremely hard truth.

  I can't even put into words how painful it is on his Birthday each year. Birthdays are supposed to be a happy time for celebrating someone's birth. We do celebrate, we get a chocolate cake each year, Jacob's favorite. But when we light the candles it is excruciating. We watch as the candles dance, and all goes silent. I know my family is thinking the same thing I am, "He should be here to blow out these candles." But he isn't. "He should be here to open all these gifts" But he isn't. It is a hard reminder but a beautiful one.

  When Jacob passed away he left us with a very large amount of unopened Lego boxes, from people who graciously donated them when he was in the hospital going through Chemo. He loved Legos I mean, seriously I have never met anyone who has loved Legos more then that kid did. When he wasn't aloud to leave his tiny hospital room Legos were what kept him busy.  It would drive me so crazy when I would go up to the hospital to visit him for the weekend and all he wanted to do was build Legos. He would say something like "Oh come on Hannah I thought you like being creative, well this is creative." And in the end he always won. We would build Legos until I was sure my fingers were beginning to fall off.

Last year for Jacob's 15th Birthday we started a tradition. We build one of Jacob's Lego sets each year on his Birthday now. As a reminder of the boy who loved Legos! Whenever we do this, oh my goodness we have the best time! I can't explain it but every time we build his Legos it's like he is there with us. Maybe he is.

Last night I was reading from Revelation and a thought crossed my mind. What would a Birthday in heaven be like? Well I can say one thing, it is a thousand times better than down here. I don't think we can ever fully comprehend what it would be like. Seeing Jesus and hearing Him say "Happy Birthday my beloved".  Wow! How amazing is that? And guess what!? One day we will get to hear Him say that!

Happy Birthday Jacob I miss you everyday
Mahal Kita...I love you!

Hannah

A "Worthey" Adoption Journey: Part 2: The Victory

A "Worthey" Adoption Journey: Part 2: The Victory: I was startled out of my sleep by my phone ringing.  Dark. Fumbling I found it. It was Lorrie. Dread. "Marshall its Jacob.  Come soon, ...

Quiet The Noise

The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance, but The Lord looks at the heart. 
                                  1 Samuel 16:7

    Why is it that the world is so loud? Just look, everyday we are bombarded by society.
Society tells us how we should act, and ultimately how we should look. I see it everyday, a young girl or boy who can't see themselves as beautiful. Instead they see what the world does, they do not measure up to that picture in the magazine. We are bombarded by pictures and magazines everyday. The world tries to tell us what "perfect" is and the sad thing is, we believe it.

 We believe that we need to look like the models we see on TV in order to fit in. And if we do not achieve the looks from the magazines we go on to hate ourselves. We hate the way our bodies look, so we try and try to change but are always ending up short of something. You have probably heard it before or even said it. "My hair is ugly." "My thighs are fat." "Oh! I wish I could look like her!"

 Heck! I've said those same things! This is something we all have struggled with. Come on, you can't tell me you've never looked into the minor one morning and thought "Wow! I look awful!"  Like I said, this is something everyone struggles with. There are times when I wish I could have better hair or be a smaller size. This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. But The Lord has really been working in me this past year showing me my worth in Him.

  Our bodies are handcrafted by the God of the universe! And yet we still think we need to be thinner taller or better looking. If you think about it, it's kinda insulting God when we say stuff like that. He made us with His bare hands! He did not make any mistakes when He created you. He created you to be a one of a kind person, meaning there is no one else like you. God knew what He was doing when He created you. He didn't make your nose too big, or your thighs too fat. You are a Beautiful creation of our King! You are Beautiful, You are a Beloved Son or Daughter of the King. You are adored by Him so much! Lets Quiet The Noise around us and focus on how God see us...NOT the world.

Growing up I have always had "My songs". Songs that I have related with and have helped me when I was going through something hard. My favorite song is More Beautiful You, by Jonny Diaz. It is a really true song and it helps me when I have those days. Below I am going to give you the lyrics. Read them and remember that there could never be a more beautiful you.

Thanks,
Hannah

His smile

Jacob's smile could make the world smile Back. 

That is what I will miss most his beautiful smile. Let us not forget his smile! 

Goodbyes

 At 5:04am Jacob Ford Worthey, jumped into the arms of Jesus Christ. Writing this I can't tell you the pain and heartache we are going through, but we have a peace, my little brother isn't hurting anymore he is running up in heaven through the green grass with so much Joy.

Let us all remember sweet Jacob, he brought so much love and Joy to everyone. WE were touched by his bravery. 

Pleases know right now is a difficult time for my family. For the next few weeks or so I'm not going to be responding to emails, messages.

Please remember Jacob worthey! He is my hero!